Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
