I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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