The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
COCAINE IS GR8
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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