Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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