My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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