I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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