I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
