I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
