I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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