I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
