you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
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I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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