i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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