end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dicks are not precious.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
