i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
