who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
