i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
