My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
