i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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