Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
