shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
