your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize