Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
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if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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