I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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