i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
