Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
