HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
