Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize