Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
