this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
