I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Pooping to opera.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
