I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
