Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
