Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
