we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
