Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
