When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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