For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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