i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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