All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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