They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
