best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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