I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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