found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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