wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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