Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize