At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
