so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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