Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
