So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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