There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize