The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
