thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
