Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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