new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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