omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think people are normalizing furries
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
