I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
