I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
