drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
