so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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