So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A+ Viking dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
